Waiting for things to happen is never an easy thing to do. Especially when the wait is pretty much indefinite.
But that is the situation I am stuck in.
I know what I want to happen, but when it will happen is a never-ending question. Because of circumstances that are pretty much out of my control.
I want to live with him, in a place that is so drastically different than where I have to call home now. Because I don’t always feel safe at home (I won’t go into details – they’re not the point here).
I want to live in a place I feel like I can be myself. Somewhere I am not afraid of an argument happening. Somewhere I can dress however I want and not be judged for it. Somewhere I can wear pajamas all day on a a weekend and not get funny looks or told to put some clothes on. Somewhere that feels more like home.
I want to collapse into bed with him at the end of the day. I want to fall asleep wrapped in his arms. I want to wake up in the morning and see his face first thing. I want to know that I’m always safe no matter what.
I want the rest of my life to be spent with him. I want him to be the father of my kids. I want him to be the one I lean on when it is too much for me to handle alone. I want to make life mistakes with him. I want to have adventures with him. I want to find things to celebrate with him. I want to make big deals out of little things with him.
Random thought: I really should get on registering for the fall semester so I make sure I have my classes locked in and I don’t lose them.